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Donnerstag, 14. Juni 2012

Wedding Traditions and Taboos


Tradition and weddings go hand-in-hand, but are couples committing a faux pas if they bail on customary practices? Updated etiquette says no on most things, but Great Aunt Gertrude may fret obsessively if the bride doesn't slip that lucky sixpence into her shoe. How the upholding or rejection of tradition is perceived varies depending on the eye of the beholder, but couples are encouraged to create a wedding according to their dreams and not be bound by tradition.
The white dress is the number one wedding tradition. While not wearing white may raise Gertrude's eyebrows or illicit a few jokes, most guests won't collapse at seeing a bride in another color, especially if this isn't her first marriage. Most non-white gowns are pastels, ivories or beige, but wedding gowns are available in a spectrum of shades. Autumn 2012 gowns modeled during New York Bridal Fashion Week included blacks and nudes.
It used to be a given that the bride's family paid for the entire wedding and reception. Some families continue this practice, but it is no longer an automatic expectation. Shouldering the whole bill isn't always affordable, so both sets of parents often share expenses. It is not unusual for the bride and groom to pick up some or all costs.
Traditional vows are beloved and preferred by many couples, but the promise to "obey" is usually omitted nowadays. It is also acceptable for couples to write their own vows.

Once upon a time, it was feared dangerous for a bride to proceed down the aisle amiss of "something old, something new; something borrowed something blue." Such rituals remain popular, but are now personal choice. Other traditions have been changed up, like throwing birdseed, tossing petals or blowing bubbles at a departing couple instead of bombarding them with rice, which may harm birds and leave the venue with a slippery mess.
A father escorting his daughter to the alter is a cherished walk, but "giving" the bride away dates back to the days when girls had no voice in who they married. For that reason, some brides opt be presented instead of given, and while the walk may be shared solely with dad, she is usually presented for marriage by both parents.
While most wedding traditions are open to flexibility, some behavior will always be taboo. For example, it is never acceptable to invite someone to a shower but not to the wedding, inappropriate to seat ex-spouses with new spouses and offensive to send impersonal, pre-printed thank-you notes for gifts. Finally, it is completely rude for the bride or groom to chat or text on their cell phones while guests are present.
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